


Kevin

by Grinder1833



Series: Missing Moments [3]
Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-02
Updated: 2011-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 00:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grinder1833/pseuds/Grinder1833
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke tells Noah about his first crush Kevin Davis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kevin

Noah was a bit awestruck when he pulled into Luke’s parents’ driveway. He’d never been here before. Ever since the “accident” Luke had been staying at the farm so there was no reason for him to come to his parents' house… _mansion_. Noah knew Luke came from money, but he had no idea to what extent. The house he was gaping at was Tara on steroids…huge white columns, large porch…very stately. He couldn’t believe that Luke actually grew up here. The house that he’d left behind at Ft. Leonard Wood was a fraction of this size.

“Hey, are you coming?” Luke asked, giving Noah a little nudge.

Noah unbuckled his seatbelt. “Sorry…yeah.” He got out of the truck, quickly walking over to the passenger’s side of the truck to make sure that Luke got out okay.

Luke made it out of the cab without any trouble. He glanced over at Noah, who was still in awe of the house. “Ummm…this is where I grew up,” Luke said, hobbling toward the front porch.

“It’s a quaint little cottage,” Noah snickered.

"I actually prefer the farm,” Luke said, placing his hand on Noah’s arm as they approached the front door. “For some reason it feels more like home to me…maybe because I’ve had a lot more happier times there than here.”

“You just love all of Emma’s goodies,” Noah teased.

Luke unlocked the front door and opened it. “Can you blame me?”

“No, not at all. I already miss all of the cookies, muffins, and pie. Dorm food sucks.”

“Well…if you’re good I just may slip you a muffin or two,” Luke said mischievously.

Noah could feel the sexual electricity crackling between them as they stepped inside the house. Ever since New Years, thoughts of making out with Luke…wondering what it would be like to do _more_ … was all Noah could think about. “Hmmm…I think I’d like that,” he murmured, tugging the collar of Luke’s coat and pulling him closer for a much desired kiss.

When they parted Noah glanced through the archway where he could see the formal living room which was stylishly decorated with light blue stripped wallpaper, a cream sofa and matching chairs, expensive artwork hung on the walls and family pictures decorated the end tables.

“Wow…this is really something,” Noah said. He wanted to venture into the living room so he could see all of the pictures of Luke…especially any of him as a little boy but he restrained himself.

“Yeah…it’s a little much for my taste.” Luke almost seemed embarrassed by the grand house. “I’d rather hang out in Grandma Emma’s kitchen. I think I’m more of a Snyder than a Walsh which is funny considering…”

“Considering Holden isn’t your bio-dad?”

“Yeah…sometimes I forget that he isn’t. I just love being around the horses and riding. God I can’t wait to ride again.”

“Maybe you can teach me sometime?” Noah suggested. He’d never been a horse before but seeing the light in Luke’s eyes when he talked about riding made Noah want to learn so he could share it with Luke.

“I’d love to! We’ll do it this spring. You’ll love it.” Luke took Noah’s hand and tugged him down the hall toward the staircase. “Come on, I promised you some X-Men comics.”

Noah had almost forgotten why they were at Luke’s parents’ house…comic books. Noah had confessed his love for comics to Luke but admitted that growing up he had to read them on the sly…mostly skimming through them in a store because he wasn’t allowed to have them. The Colonel was against anything fantasy related. Luke had proudly admitted that he had a stash of X-Men comics that would put a comic store to shame and Noah was welcomed to them.

“This is going to be like Christmas all over again. I’ve been dying to catch up on the X-Men,” Noah said as they ascended the staircase.

Luke pushed open the door to his bedroom and shrugged off his jacket, tossing it onto his full size bed. Noah’s eyes hungrily drank in the sight of Luke’s bedroom…trophies on his dresser, a bulletin board littered with notes, a Chicago White Sox calendar still on the month of September, a desk with a couple of notebooks lying on top on it, and a bookcase in the corner of the room stuffed mostly with comic books along with some hardcover books. Although the room hadn’t been used in a few months there were still traces of the Luke’s musky/spicy scent in it. Noah loved it…it was a sharp contrast to his old bedroom, which was cold and impersonal.

“Take off your coat,” Luke instructed as he made his way to the bookcase. “This might take awhile.”

Noah did as he was told, laying his jacket next to Luke’s on the bed. “Looks like you have quite a collection there.” He slowly trailed behind Luke.

Luke grinned like a pirate showing off his bounty. “This isn’t the half of it. Most of them are stored away in boxes in my closet.”

“I would have killed for these when I was a kid.”

“These are all yours…murder free.”

All? No, it was way too much. “Luke, I can’t…borrowing them is good enough.”

He began to thumb through the comic books on the shelf. “Noah, you deserve better than good enough. I want you to have them.”

Luke’s gesture was truly touching, but Noah didn’t feel right about accepting years and years of comic books. He placed his hand on Luke’s shoulder. “I can’t take your collection…it’s just too generous of an offer.” Luke opened his mouth to protest but Noah held up his hand. “Being able to borrow them is a dream come true. I never thought I’d be able to get my X-Men fix.”

“Okay,” Luke sighed, somewhat defeated. “But you can borrow them as long as you’d like. Deal?”

“Deal.”

As Luke searched for X-Men, Noah scanned the rest of the bookcase, his eyes falling on a book with Oakdale High School 2007 embossed on the spine. He couldn’t help himself, he just had to see high school Luke. He pulled the book from the shelf. When he cracked it open, a picture fell out.

“Ooops,” Noah said, bending over to pick it up.

“What are you doing?” Luke asked, eyes darting to the photo on the floor.

“I just wanted to check out your yearbook.” He retrieved the picture from the floor before Luke could. Staring up at him from the photo was Luke and another guy, who was shorter than him with blonde hair, blue eyes…All-American good looks. The boys were smiling and the other boy’s arm was casually draped over Luke’s shoulders. “Who’s this?” he asked, a bit unsure if he really wanted to hear the answer.

Luke snatched the photo from him. “It’s Kevin.”

“Kevin?” Noah’s throat was suddenly dry.

Luke shuffled away from Noah, heading toward his bed. “Yeah…Kevin Davis.”

Noah returned the yearbook its spot on the shelf. “Is he…?” he couldn’t quite bring himself to finish the sentence.

“Yeah…he was my best friend…the one that I fell for,” Luke quietly admitted, still not looking at Noah. Instead he was staring intently at the photo in his hand.

“Oh.”

Luke began to slowly pace, nervously shaking the picture. “I don’t feel that way any more.”

“I didn’t say that you did.”

“It was a long time ago,” Luke emphatically added.

“Okay.”

“I forgot that I even had this picture.” He stopped pacing and gazed down at it, then forced a laugh. “It was taken _before_ …”

Noah approached him. “Before what?”

Luke sunk down onto the bed, letting his cane slip out of his hand and hit the floor. “Before I told him.”

Noah sat down next to him, placing his hand on Luke’s thigh. “What happened when you told him?” he carefully asked. Noah didn’t want to pry but his curiosity was getting the better of him. All he knew was that they were no longer friends, but Kevin had obviously been an important part of Luke’s life…the question was just _how_ important. And what had happened between them? He knew they hadn’t kissed because Luke had told him that Noah had been his first male kiss. But still, he sensed _something_ had happened.

Luke’s eyes clouded over, his lips curled into a frown. But he didn’t say anything.

“Ah…you know…you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.” Noah started to get up, but Luke grabbed his hand, stopping him.

“I had a really hard time coming out,” Luke quietly admitted as he stared down at the photograph in his hand.

This surprised Noah. Luke was one of the most self-assured guys he knew…confident, but not cocky…proud, but not egotistical. “I find that hard to believe…”

“Trust me…it was practically a train wreck,” Luke chuckled ruefully. “I was so convinced that my parents were going to hate me if I told them that I was gay. So to mask the pain I drank…a lot. Kevin liked to drink too…so we did it together. Actually we did a lot of things together. He used to be my best friend. We’d been friends for quite awhile…hanging out all the time…practically inseparable.”

Noah swallowed. “But your feelings for him eventually changed…”

“Yeah.” Luke nodded, nervously glancing at Noah. “I fell for him pretty hard. I thought I was in love with him. He was attractive and…I…ah…wanted to be with him. He was all I could think about.”

Suddenly Noah was beginning to regret that he ever asked Luke to elaborate about Kevin. Hearing how Luke desired someone else (even if it was before Noah even came to Oakdale) made Noah feel a bit jealous. Silently he cursed himself for feeling this way, especially when Luke was sitting here pouring out his heart to him. “That…ah…must have been difficult for you,” Noah stammered.

“Very. That’s why I was drunk a lot…even though it was bad for my kidney…even though I was probably slowly killing myself.” Luke paused, fighting back the tears that were forming in his eyes. “I think maybe part of me would have rather died than come out and be hated for it.”

Luke rather be dead than come out? Noah’s heart ached, knowing how hard to was for him to admit the truth to himself about being gay. He never fathomed that Luke had gone through the same thing. “Luke,” he murmured, slipping his fingers through Luke’s. “I had no idea…”

“Well…it was a long time ago. A lot has changed since then,” he explained. “When I finally came out to my parents, my dad was so understanding…my mom…not so much, but that’s another story altogether. The important thing is that she did eventually accept me for who I was… _am_.”

Noah was surprised that Lily hadn’t been immediately accepting of Luke’s sexuality. You’d never be able to tell that now. He’d have to get that story another day. “And what happened with Kevin?”

“The summer before my senior year of high school a bunch of kids decided to go up to Raven Lake to camp for the weekend. Kevin was in the group. Originally I wasn’t going to go but my cousin, Jade, changed my mind. She helped convince me that I needed to come out to Kevin,” Luke explained, slowly rocking back and forth on the edge of the mattress. He hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath before he continued, “So I got him alone and told him. I told him that I had this secret I’d been keeping from him and he said that I could tell him. I was so hopeful that he just might understand…but he didn’t.” Luke squeezed his eyes shut. “I’ll never forget the look of disgust on his face when he stormed away from me.”

“He didn’t say anything?”

Luke shook his head, tears trickling from his eyes. “No…not then…but I caught up with him a little later. I needed to talk to him…make him understand that I was still the same person he’d been friends with for years. But Kevin didn’t see it that way. He said that he always knew there was something wrong with me…that I was a freak.” Luke wiped his eyes. “And then Jade came along and let it slip that I was in love with him. God, I could have killed her. I-I tried to reason with Kevin, but he said that if he stayed around me he’d want to beat the crap out of me.”

“Oh, Luke,” Noah sighed.

He forced a smile to his face. “Oh, it gets better. Later…when he was out on a boat with his friends…he…uh…decided to make a toast to me…the faggot,” Luke practically sobbed the last word.

Noah gathered Luke in his arms, squeezing him tightly. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “So…so…sorry that you had to go through it.”

“I thought I loved him and he…”

Noah kissed the side of Luke’s face. “It’s okay…that was a long time ago.”

Luke pulled away from him, sniffling and nodding. “I know…and everything worked out for the best.” He touched Noah’s cheek. “You came into my life and I fell in love with you. And I realize now that how I felt for Kevin is _nothing_ compared to how much I love you.”

Noah snatched Luke’s hand, kissing it. “Kevin’s loss is definitely my gain.”

“Kevin's straight so I never had a chance. I should have known better.”

“So whatever happened to him?” Noah asked, hoping that he went to college far, far away.

“Well…he almost drowned that afternoon, but I saved him and had to perform CPR on him,” Luke explained. “Later when he found out that I was the one who saved him he thanked me. But, you know, that damage was already done. We weren’t friends after that day. The last time I spoke to him was prom night…just a simple, civil conversation and I haven’t seen him since graduation. I don’t know or care where he went to college…if he even went. He was a bit of a fuck up.”

Poor Luke…not only did he get rejected by the object of his affection he had also lost his best friend. Noah wasn’t so sure that he’d be able to pull through a situation like that and end up as strong as Luke was now. “How was it when you started school?”

“Things were okay for the most part. There were whispers and whatnot but no one really gave me a hard time. I was even able to keep my place on the basketball team.”

Noah smiled encouragingly. “That sounds good.”

“Yeah…I suppose…I was lonely as hell, though. What sucked most of all was watching everyone hook up. And then there was me…the gay guy…all by himself.” He snatched his cane off the floor, using it for support as he hoisted himself off the mattress. With the picture of him and Kevin in hand, he hobbled over to the wastebasket, regarding it for a moment before he continued on to the bookshelf where he stashed the picture back inside the yearbook.

Noah’s heart sank. Why was Luke keeping it? Especially after everything Kevin had said and done…

When Luke turned back to Noah, he was grinning. The tears had vanished from his eyes, which were now filled with love. “You changed my life, Noah Mayer. You arrived in Oakdale like a hero out of one of those movies you love so much and swept me off my feet.” Slowly Luke made his way back to him.

Noah stood up, drawing Luke in his arms. Carefully he spun him around and pushed him down onto the bed…the bed where Luke had probably spent many nights longing for Kevin. Noah pushed their coats to the floor, covering Luke’s body with his. The next time Luke was in this bed Noah wanted to be sure that he thought of him…remembered them together like this.

Noah’s mouth crashed down on Luke’s. He needed Luke now. Noah wanted to push every last thought of Kevin from Luke’s mind. _He_ was Luke’s boyfriend. _He_ cared so deeply for Luke. And unlike Kevin… _he’d_ never hurt Luke…never. Luke was the most special man in the entire world.

“Oh, Noah,” Luke gasped, clinging to him.

Noah licked and kissed his way from Luke’s mouth to his collarbone, nudging aside the collar of Luke’s maroon and navy striped sweater with his nose so he could easily sink his mouth into Luke’s bared flesh. Slowly he licked and sucked that one spot, causing Luke to buck up against him. Noah could feel the full extent of Luke’s arousal as his crotch rubbed against his.

_Kevin never did this to you, Luke._

“Noah, that feels soooo good,” Luke purred, his fingers digging into Noah’s back. “Don’t stop…please…”

And Noah didn’t intend to. He knew that he was going to leave a nice mark on Luke…a reminder of _him_.

“Never,” Noah breathed into Luke’s ear. “I’ll never stop…”

_“Luke!”_

They froze.

 _“Luke! Are you here?”_ Lily’s voice echoed throughout the house.

Noah quickly rolled off of Luke, falling onto the floor with a loud thump. “Shit,” he hissed through gritted teeth.

“I’m up here, Mom!” Luke called in a surprisingly calm voice. “Noah and I were just getting together some of my comic books to take back to the farm!”

“I thought that was Noah’s truck in the driveway,” Lily’s voice seemed to get closer.

Noah sprang to his feet, quickly composing himself. “Hi, Mrs. Snyder!” he called down to Lily. At least he hoped that she was still downstairs. The erection that he’d been sporting was quickly deflating. Nothing like the prospect of getting caught to kill the mood.

“Hi, Noah!” It sounded like Lily was coming up the stairs.

Noah dashed over to the bookcase, grabbing a stack of comic books while Luke gingerly sat up and straightened his sweater. There was just a hint of the hickey Noah had given him, peeking out from the collar. Luke fetched his cane, joining Noah looking as innocent as a little lamb, which baffled Noah how Luke could go from a wild sex kitten to cute fuzzy bunny in a matter of seconds.

Lily poked her head inside of Luke’s room. “Any luck finding what you needed?” she asked.

Luke grinned, his fingers brushing against the back of Noah’s hand. “Yeah…I definitely have what I need.”

Noah glanced over at his boyfriend. Yes, Kevin was already a distant memory and he’d make sure that it stayed that way.


End file.
